Franklin Smith has spent the past thirty years running businesses and consulting with businesses focused on question based communication.  Training corporations on the power of using questions strategically to grow sales, improve internal relations and develop contacts that build sustainable growth has been at the heart of his focus. Despite success in numerous ventures, however, Franklin was faced with an uphill struggle following a catastrophic business failure.  

 

The pressure from this created irreparable damage to his family, friends, and colleagues.  He was now forced to ask himself the question:  Why did this happen, and how specifically did I contribute to the downfall?  This would be a question that would require years in the pursuit of answers and change.  Franklin also realized that even though he had been a Christian since the age of ten, and was very active in his church, he saw very little evidence that God’s character was reflective in his own.  The answer he concluded was that he was part of the problem, and it would be an uphill struggle towards change.

 

Writing a book about how choices impacted the relationships in his life was the last thing Franklin Smith wanted to do, or thought he would be doing.  He has spent many years as a singer/songwriter in country music and this outlet of putting his journey into lyrics has been therapeutic for him, and he hopes for others as well. He did not feel that his life was significant enough to write about, but he felt that enough damage had been done through his life experiences that a diagnostic look at how and why that damage had occurred would be useful in preventing ongoing chaos.  When Franklin saw the collateral damage in his present, and in his rear view mirror of life, he knew that there was one common denominator that was present through every good and failed relationship:  Himself.

 

Broken and ashamed, but confident that he could make adjustments in his life that would lead to an accountable strategy towards restoration for those who had been damaged, Franklin reached out to a trusted advisor and friend for a conversation that would last over four years and continues to this day.  The questions that Franklin posed to himself was “How do I find a way to be empathetic to others who are facing the pressure I contributed to, while intentionally addressing the weaknesses in my character that have created a pattern of brokenness?  How do I deal with my need for justice where I feel I was wronged, and still be focused on restoration?  

 

There is a challenge when a person focuses on change, because their issues and ultimately themselves become the center of the universe for them as they attempt that change.  This leaves those who are impacted by the pressure feeling neglected, underappreciated and forgotten.  Frank recognized this and knew there had to be an organized and effective way to experience change while building credibility and trust with those affected by his choices in managing the chaos he faced.

 

The ongoing conversation with his friend, Brent Maxwell, centered on two realities:  Franklin’s spiritual life was severely fractured, and whatever strategies he had been focused on for forty-five plus years were not working.  He did, however, have an advantage.  He wanted change.  He needed change, and he was committed to the work he knew it would take to see the measurable results of it. 

 

What was his definition of expectations of measurable results?  Restoration in relationships?  Not necessarily.  Franklin knew that even if he did all he could do to restore relationships, it did not mean that the desire for restoration would be reciprocal.  The measurable results would come in the form of two categories:  Physical restoration, and personal restoration.  

 

The physical restoration addressed the practical part, which was accountability.  This was where Franklin would tirelessly pursue restoration to the extent that he could have control in the restitution process.  He had time, health, a positive mindset, skillset, and the desire to stick through the ugly in order to get to the peaceful.  This meant he would have to rebuild his life with a new perspective and a strategic plan that was possible to execute.  He would also have to find a way to ignore the incoming assault on his character and intentions while having a singular focus on the end result.

 

Franklin determined that he needed four resources to accomplish this:  Wisdom, time, people, and patience.  When he searched the world for a source where he could find these attributes, he remembered that he experienced each of these resources in a commitment to Jesus Christ.  His internal pessimistic default alarm went off because he was always frustrated with those who created chaos and then “found Jesus”, afterward expecting everyone else to forgive them as Jesus had. 

 

Even though he knew he had the strength to pursue justice for those who had been damaged by his choices and the mindset to not quit, Frank also recognized that he lacked the spiritual maturity to rebuild his life in a way that was sustainable and pleasing to God.  After forty-five years of living a life that centered around his own desires and goals, Franklin was committed to exploring the strength and weakness of his character.  That was his new life direction. 

 

The deeper the conversation between Brent and Franklin got, the more Franklin realized that he was not that unique.  Sure his colorful past was quite a story, but there was nothing unique about how his character impacted those who meant the most to him in life. His conversation with Brent and others exposed similar challenges that many people were also struggling with in managing their own character.   As Franklin grew stronger in his walk with God, and began to make progress in areas of his character, he was reminded of how far he had to go.  

 

Was it possible that it may take the rest of his life to deconstruct his character and make his contribution to others effective and fruitful? To some this could seem defeating, but to Franklin and Brent, it was an opportunity to worship God, and to honor people in their lives with this pursuit.  Through writing songs, stories, and teaching seminars on the power of questions, Franklin has done his best to contribute to this very important conversation about pleasing God with how we manage conflict, character, and influence in our relationships.

 

In Frank’s words, “Good character is not just who we think we are but what is built on the evidence of how we interact with others, which reduces conflict while building positive perception and influence.  When our character is built on the skills that God has modeled for us, we spend less time managing pressure and more time enjoying the relationships that God has brought into our lives.  Our character may never be fully mature, but neglect of character development leads to broken relationships, indifference, pain, and foolishness.” 

 

“Resentment, pride, and bitterness are the fuel for quitters when it comes to restoration of character and ultimately relationships.  I’m not a quitter and I don’t have enough time left on earth to act like a fool.  I will focus on the one thing I have control over, which is to do everything I can to please God with how I manage my relationships.”